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What has been seen cannot be unseen
May 15, 2013 - Taste Buds
OK guys. Listen up. This one's for you.
The Buds have noticed some unfortunate trends in men's fashion. REALLY unfortunate trends. Now let the Buds just say that while we appreciate men who can be more in touch with their feminine side, there is a line that ought not to be crossed.
First there were lens-less glasses (really, what is THAT all about?). And then glasses lenses got bigger. MUCH bigger. Like Church Lady on Saturday Night Live let's-relive-the-1980s big.
While bug-eye glasses don't have much to do with femininity, the next fashion disaster does: the satchel, carry-all, or, as we all know it, the man purse. The Buds do not endorse men carrying any kind of bag on a long strap draped over one shoulder - unless they are holding a purse for their wife or girlfriend or if they are carrying files and a laptop.
What essentials could men possibly need daily that requires them to carry a purse? Wallet, gum, chapstick ... that's what jean pockets are for! Trust us. It's not a good thing when a girl looks at a guy and says, "Wow, I have that same purse!"
Accessories are bad enough, but once the feminine touch starts reaching out to a man's wardrobe, then we sense problems afoot. For instance, women's fashion pieces are popping up for men like heeled ankle boots, frilly blouses (think the Seinfeld "puffy shirt") and even capri pants.
Perhaps the worst of the above offenders are the capri pants. Earlier this week, Miami Heat basketball star Dwyane Wade strutted into the arena for a playoff game dressed in a tailored suit with polka dots and skinny pants that bared his ankles ... uh, and calves. On his feet were perfectly polished dress loafers. We've attached a photo, courtesy of the website sportspickle.com just to show you that we aren't kidding about this. Here comes the flood!
From the waist down, this muscular, burly athlete could pass for a woman! He does have the legs to pull this off, but it's really a big wardrobe fail because he has created for himself the unflattering shape of a popsicle -- large and rectangular on top, skinny stick(s) on the bottom. It just looks all wrong - like he stuffed himself into some average Joe's pants by mistake.
Thankfully, the Buds have not witnessed anyone in the area sporting these atrocities, although we don't get out much from behind our computer screens or restaurant menus. But we have confidence we probably won't see many of these trends catching on for the guys around here (fingers and toes crossed!!!).
Of course, none of these rules apply to women. We look good in everything. Well, except overalls. And pajama jeans. And sweatpants worn in public with the word "Juicy" written across the tush ... but that, friends, is another blog for another day!
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This photo, courtesy of the website sportspickle.com, is proof that the Buds were not making up Dwyane Wade's capri pants suit. Here comes the flood!